Principal Connection
Thomas R. Hoerr
The Tiger Mom Mind-Set
Is there a faculty room that hasn’t been abuzz with comments about Amy Chua’s book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (Penguin, 2011)?
Anyone is bound to have a strong reaction to
a mother who says that her two children were
never allowed to
attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school
play, complain about not being in a school play,
watch TV or play computer games, choose their
own extracurricular activities, get any grade less
than an A, not be the #1 student in every subject
except gym and drama, play an instrument other
than the piano or violin, not play the piano or
violin. (p. 3)
Chua takes a strident approach to
child rearing and settles for nothing
less than perfection from her two
daughters. At one point, she rejects
birthday cards her daughters made
for her because they didn’t put
enough effort into their creations.
Gasp! It’s easy to see why in a
January 19 New York Times review
of the book, Janet Maslin says that
Chua “eagerly overacts the role of
wicked witch.”
Chua uses the term Chinese
mother to describe a person—
Chinese or not, mother or not—who holds high,
almost impossible, expectations for children—
and for oneself. (Chua is a Yale Law School
professor, and after reading her book and seeing
all that she does with and for her children while
balancing her professional responsibilities, I
wondered, “How does she do all that?” That’s a
question for another column, however.)
“Compared to Western parents, Chinese
parents spend approximately 10 times as long
every day drilling academic activities with
their children,” says Chua. In describing other
students in her daughter’s Suzuki class, she
observes, “Most of the other students at the
school had liberal Western parents, who were
weak-willed and indulgent when it came to
practicing” (p. 27). The accomplishments of
Chua’s daughters, Sophia and Louisa, are quite
remarkable. As mom expects—no, as mom
demands—they excelled in academics as well as
in piano and violin.
I convened a faculty book group to read and
talk about Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. We
spent the first 10 minutes criticizing Chua and
being appalled at her philosophy and practices.
We all expressed sadness for her children. That
was easy.
There’s nothing wrong
with being first or on
the honor roll, but when
does that single-minded
pursuit actually get in the
way of learning?
But then someone said, “You know, she’s right
that our students don’t work as hard as they
should.” There was a pause, and another person
said, “Her point about self-esteem is good. It
comes from achievement and can’t be artificial.”
A good discussion became even better as we
stepped back from our initial reaction and tried
to see other valid points in the book.
It’s tempting to demonize Chua and focus
on things she said or did that seemed cruel and
heartless. She offers an abundance of opportunities to do so! But as our faculty discovered,
some of her points deserve consideration. Our
book group agreed that we would certainly
deliver the message differently, but who can
argue with expecting children to do their best?
Carol Dweck’s work on mind-sets is relevant
when thinking about Chua’s approaches. Unlike
Chua, whose focus is on pursuing excellence at
all costs and being the best, Dweck believes that
there is much to be gained from the learning
